Murder She Wrote
by Nalurah
Summary: In her final letter she explains why she killed the man she loves. Going through the letter she shows her family what really was the reason why she acted the way she did. AU, oneshot, TP


This is a very dramatic oneshot and I'm very proud of it because it already made several people cry. So my dear friends, grab some tissues and start reading! Have fun!

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**_Murder She Wrote_ **

A white rose held by a trembling hand, a tear falling on one leaf, before silently falling on the ground. So helpless and lonely she seemed as she stood there, next to the grave of her husband, caught up in her own world as she was only half listening to the words of the priest.

She was standing all alone near the edge of the grave, a couple of feet away from her stood the rest of the family, yet they all kept their distance, some respect and some suspicion. Slowly she lifted up her head, her hazel brown eyes were filled with tears, slowly she looked at every single member of her family, standing together and listening to the words of the priest. She noticed that all the women of the group were crying and some of the men were fighting their tears as well. Yet no one fought harder than Pan, not only because she was his wife but also because she was the only one who knew the full truth.

"It's time to bid our last farewell." The priest said softly as he turned towards Pan, mentioning her to bid her husband farewell.

Pan sighed softly and stared down in the grave, there lay a wooden coffin, covered with flowers, even though it was closed, Pan could still imagine how he would lie there. "Seven years ago, you made me the happiest girl alive, by marrying me, not only did I marry the man I loved, I also married my best friend. Seven years ago, I was doubting how I could possibly tell you how much I love you in my vows, now I'm wondering how I should say goodbye. Just like you always told me to do, I'll start at the beginning. I'll just start with my apology for when I might have hurt you, for all those stupid quarrels, for all those irritations we often had, though some say that's marriage." Pan suddenly stopped, trying to find the words to continue and fighting away her tears until the end of her speech.

"But most of all I want to thank you, for all those joyful years, even before our marriage. We've been friends our entire life, that's why I not only thank you for your love but also for your friendship. If I knew how to let go, if I knew how to say goodbye I would. Words seem to be useless, deeds don't say a thing, the only thing I can say is that I'll never stop thinking of you and loving you." Pan finished her speech, letting her tears cross her face as she let the white rose fall into the grave.

Slowly someone put an arm around her shoulder, as she looked up through her teary eyes she could see that it was her father. "Are you hanging in there sweety?" He asked concerned as he hugged his daughter. "If you don't want to live in that big house all alone you can always move back in with us. You know we wouldn't mind that." Gohan whispered softly in her ear.

Pan sighed and watched everybody drop their rose in the grave and saying goodbye to Trunks. Slowly she raised her hand to wipe away a tear which was crossing her cheek. "No dad, it's okay, I want to be alone for a while. You don't mind, do you?" She almost whispered, not letting go of the touching sight of her crying family.

Gohan softly let go of her but held his arm around her shoulders. "That's okay sweetheart, I just want you to be happy again, but you'll first need time to think about it and accept it. But don't forget that you're always welcome in your old house." Gohan whispered comfortingly.

"Thank you dad." Pan whispered with a trembling voice, knowing very well what was going to happen next, hoping her father would be all right.

After the funeral everybody walked together towards the exit of the graveyard, only Pan stood all alone next to the new grave. Silently she let herself fall down to her knees, not caring about the hard floor making cuts in them. "I hope that you'll forgive me, Trunks. And that when I see you again, you'll understand. I hope that you'll be that man again, that man I fell in love with. I wanted you to know that it wasn't out of hatred, but out of love." She whispered, as a small tear crossed her cheek and fell on the grave. "Before I return to you, I'll let them know what really happened, wait for me in heaven, my darling." She whispered as she stared at the sky which was slowly getting a red colour because of the sunset. "Wait for me and I will come..."

Pan sighed and slowly got up, her knees bleeding because of the cuts which the gravel made. Silently she walked down the seemingly ever lasting road towards the exit of the graveyard; the gravel was crunching underneath her high heels with every step she took. She held her arms crossed in front of her chest and stared down at the ground, like she always did when something was on her mind. She knew that her family would be waiting for her at the end of the graveyard, waiting to comfort and pity her, then bring her home and forget it.

And as she thought it would be, happened. They all showed concern and pity, something Pan hated, for the only thing she longed for now, was to finish what she had started and end the story. She was talking to her parents who kept asking if she was alright, for her answers were short and unlike her. "Dad, could you please bring me home, I want to be alone for a while and think about it." Pan almost whispered as she was still staring at the ground, not willing to face neither her parents nor anyone else. Every face she saw seemed so confrontating, although they were filled with concern they also were filled with suspicion. There was never a reason for Trunks' death, some say he was overworked, others say he killed himself and some blame Pan. Pan would just say it was all three of them, but no one would understand her. That's why she would explain it to them, but not in person, she had decided to write them a letter, a final letter in which everything becomes clear, all the mysteries of the past years until the death of Trunks. 'My final letter will be the explanation of all.' She thought as she stared out of the car window, into the darkness paying no attention to the passing lights of cars and buildings.

Ten minutes later they stopped in front of her house, it was actually a huge mansion which Trunks had bought for the two of them to live in. Before Pan stepped out of the car she bent over to her mother and gave her a kiss on her cheek, then she did the same with her father. Softly she muttered a goodbye before she opened the door and stepped out into the cold of the night.

Silently she stood in front of her house, hugging herself because of the cold. Her hair was falling in front of her face, but still she could see the lifeless building that used to be her own little palace. The wind was rocking her hair as a shiver ran down her spine; it was so cold that she could see her own breath. Doubtingly she stood there staring at what used to be a big part of her life, somehow scared to pass the doorstep and enter the truth, for her family she had created a web of lies, starting a long time ago, but in there she would meet with reality. The bloody secret would unfold in front of her eyes, it was her secret.

She had the urge to turn around and run for it, run until her legs couldn't carry her anymore, run to a place where no creature has ever been. But before she could flee someone laid a hand on her shoulder, Pan immediately knew that that hand belonged to her father. "If there's anything I can do for you let me know sweetheart." He said softly as he brushed Pan's hair away from her shoulder.

Maybe it was faith, it was her destiny to be stopped when she was about to flee, Pan didn't know. But when she turned around and faced her father blinded by her web of lies, she knew she had to finish it, for even her father didn't know what had really happened and at that moment, it was tearing her apart. "No, it's ok. There is something I must do tonight." She suddenly hugged her father tightly and whispered a soft goodbye before she let go again and turned around, reluctantly she started walking towards the house. She knew that if she would look back to her parents she would get doubts again and that wasn't something she needed right now.

Slowly she walked down the path towards her front door, behind her she could hear her parents leaving, finally she reached the door. She stopped to search for her keys in her purse, when she found them and just wanted to open the door her peace was interrupted. "Murderer, devil's child, no blood may shed in this house." Voices whispered from what seemed all around her. "You've disturbed our peace, made this house filthy with blood of a cruel murder and you shall pay." The voices whispered as Pan looked around frightened.

Quickly Pan threw open the door and ran into the house, she stopped in the middle of the livingroom. The voices were even stronger in the house and they kept saying the same thing, accusing her of the murder. Pan spinned around, trying to find the source of these words, trying to find the voice which haunted through her head. "Stop it! Alright I confess, I killed him! But you don't know the truth! No one does!" She yelled, trying to make the voices go away. But as she heard the door slamming against the wall because of the wind, she realized that there was no one around her, she was all alone. The voices she kept hearing were those of her conscience, that's why they called her a murderer, because she really was one.

She slowly walked towards the door and closed it, immediately the sound of the wind was gone and silence overpowered everything. Pan walked back to the livingroom and threw her jacket on the couch, wishing for sound again for this silence reminded her of death.

Pan sat down on the couch with a sigh and looked around; her eyes were slowly examining the well-known features of her own house. She knew every corner of this house and could walk through it with her eyes closed, yet now everything seemed new and different. The walls suddenly had a different shade, the furniture somehow was different, somehow everything was different. What frightened Pan the most was that she knew what was different, everything was incomplete now Trunks was gone.

Suddenly she noticed something lying on the table, it was Trunks' notebook and a pen next to it, it always lay there in cause he had something important to write down. "I guess it's time for my final letter... I promise you Trunks that I'll make everything clear before I return to you." She whispered as she picked up the notebook and the pen. "How do I start the letter which I know will be my last?" She asked herself out loud, talking to herself always gave her confidence somehow and before she knew it, she was writing her final letter.

_Dear Friends,_

_As you all know_ _ I married Trunks seven years ago, but only a couple of days ago that ended because of his death. I wanted you to know that I don't mourn his death for it was the right thing to happen. But before you see me as a cruel, heartless creature I want to tell you the truth of what happened and solve the many questions about our behaviour in the past years. I know that you whispered behind my back that I've become a spoiled brat since I married Trunks because I never came to the family get togethers. Well the reason that I never came to those parties is that I had to hide, I couldn't show myself to you, for if you would see me, you would know something was wrong._

Slowly Pan stopped writing; she stared at the paper as flashes of the past entered her mind. Her lips trembled a bit and her eyes filled up with tears as she thought back of all those times when she couldn't go to the family get togethers.  
She remembered it like it was yesterday; it was a cold night and a storm was raging outside. It was around midnight and Trunks still wasn't home, Pan had already gone to bed for she was used to Trunks getting home late. At the beginning she stayed awake until he was home, but at some moment she realized that it was useless.

The door suddenly slammed open and Trunks stood in the entrance, his tie was untied, his hair was ruffled up and in his hand he held an almost empty bottle of beer. With his briefcase in his other hand he slowly walked inside, sometimes hitting the wall for he had had so much alcohol he couldn't walk straight anymore.

He stood in the livingroom and looked around, everything was dark except for the kitchen, Pan always leaves the kitchen light on when Trunks comes home late. Trunks growled and dropped his briefcase, letting its contents spread over the entire floor. He stormed up the staircase muttering "Stupid woman!" With fierce steps he walked down the hallway and threw their bedroom door open. Pan was peacefully sleeping in their enormous bed and had no idea of the fuming man in her bedroom. Trunks walked over to the bed and pulled Pan out of it by her hair before throwing her against the wall, immediately awakening her. "You lazy bitch! I work around the clock for you and you can't even get dinner on the table at dinnertime!" He yelled as he kicked her in her stomach.

Pan stared at him in disbelief as she crossed her arms over her stomach, crying of pain. "Trunks, it's midnight... it's long past dinnertime." She whispered as she winched of pain.

Pan's reaction only seemed to make Trunks angrier. "Don't act so pathetic and innocent, you've got no reason at all to cry, you're worthless!" He yelled as he hit her full in her face.

Pan smacked to the wall for the second time because of the force of the hit, tears were streaming freely over her face. "Stop it, Trunks." She whispered as she spit out some blood. "You're drunk, you're talking nonsense, please just go to bed and stop this." She begged him.

Yet before she could continue her saying she got hit in her face again. "How dare you say that to me! Now go downstairs and cook dinner!" Trunks yelled as he threw Pan by her hair into the corridor.

"Stop it Trunks!" Pan said with tears on her face as she lay on the ground, helplessly watching her raging husband. "I've already cooked dinner, it's in the fridge, you just need to heat it." Pan cried as the fear for her husband grew inside of her.

"You dumb woman, you couldn't even heat my dinner for me!" Trunks yelled as he started kicking Pan, who still lay helplessly on the ground. He only stopped kicking her when she was unconcious. Then he just walked down and made dinner, after he ate he went to sleep in their bedroom, ignoring his unconcious wife on the ground. Often Pan found herself awakening in spots were she had been beaten up the day before, mostly she looked too bruised up to go out in public, that's why she had to cancel the get togethers, disappointing those who she loves.

_So now you know why I was never there, why I always cancelled at the last minute. You must have hate_ _d me for doing that but daddy would have killed Trunks if he saw me like that, that's why I kept thinking of new lies to cast away suspicion. I never wanted to lie and believe me, if I had a choice then I never would. But I didn't have a choice for if I told the truth, then I wouldn't only hurt you, I would also loose the man I still love. Because I know that behind all the drinking, yelling and all the stress from his work, still lies the man I loved and married. You see my dear friends it wasn't always like this, when we were just married I was his princess, we were so happy together, blinded by love. Yet slowly that began to change, his work gave him more and more stress and somehow he thought drinking was the sollution. He got obsessed with his work, sometime he was in his office day and night and slowly I saw myself get replaced by his work. I was no longer his princess, you could rather say I was his slave, he saw me as a duty, something he had to get through, like a boring meeting and he had no idea how much that hurt me._

_Yet I never stopped loving this man, even though he had often beaten me up unti_ _l I was unconcious, I still knew that somewhere deep inside was the real Trunks, the one without the drinking. Yet everyday I saw a piece of him die, he got more and more obsessed with his work and drank more to cope with the stress, I knew that some day not far from now his work would kill him. But I couldn't wait that long, I couldn't see the man I love suffer, knowing his end would come soon, so just like as if he was a wounded animal I helped him out of his suffering._

It was very late and Trunks had just come home, he immediately ordered Pan to get him a beer and she did what she was told. But as she walked to the kitchen and she looked back, she saw that almost nothing was left of her former husband, she saw a broken man, a dying man. In the kitchen she bursted into tears, on one hand she was scared by the man in the livingroom and on the other her heart was broken, for she didn't know him anymore and with every day he seemed to drift further away, out of reach for Pan.

She knew what she had to do, she had to stop this right away, before more madness would enter his mind. Slowly she walked towards the freezer and opened it, she grabbed a beer and opened the bottle, closing the freezer with a soft kick of her foot. Silently she walked over to a cupboard and opened it, shoving some things aside to find a tiny bottle with blue liquid in it.

She had bought this when she was desperate for a change, she couldn't take his actions anymore, yet she had never had the guts to take it and that is why it had stood in the cupboard for a very long time, this poisen that could even kill the strongest of men.

Slowly she opened the small bottle and mixed its contents with the beer, shaking it a bit so there was no sign of it anymore. She checked the colour, but it looked like normal beer again, satisfied she walked into the livingroom and gave the bottle to Trunks. "It's about time!" He grunted as he grabbed the beer and immediately drank half of the bottle.

"How was work today?" Pan asked in a seemingly interested voice.

"Fine!" Trunks muttered before he drank the rest of the bottle. "This beer has a weird taste... Maybe it's-" But he could never finish his sentence for suddenly he had to cough really loud, it was like someone had taken him by his troath. He felt slightly dizzy and fell backwards on the couch.

A mere second later Pan sat beside him with her hand on his face, a soft tear was running down her cheek. "Pan" Trunks whispered as he stared into her hazelnut brown eyes. "You poisened me..."

Pan had to fight back her tears and slightly nodded. "I had to, you were losing it, I don't want to see you suffer, I love you too much." Pan whispered as she stroke Trunks' face which was all wet from the sweat, she knew it wouldn't take long. "Don't worry, you won't go alone. I will follow you soon and then we'll be together again, together and happy like we were when we got engaged. Do you remember that, Trunks?" She whispered.

A slight smile appeared on Trunks' face by the memory of their engagement. "Will you wait for me?" Pan whispered as she slightly kissed him on his forehead.

"I'll wait for you, Pan. But promise me you'll come back to me, so we can forgive and forget everything and start again. Promise me..." But the last part Pan would never hear, for the poison had taken over his entire body and with a last look at Pan, he left the earth for good.

There she was, all alone, sobbing on top of her husband's chest, he had past away now. It was time for her to end it as well and be with him again, but there were first some things need to be taken care of. "I promise you, Trunks." She whispered softly against his chest between sobs. She clenched his shirt in her small hands, even though she knew it would happen and it was all her fault, it didn't make the pain of losing someone you love go away.

_This must come as a shock for you, finding out what really happened, wh_ _o killed him. You must hate me now, because I know you all suspect me but none of you really dared accuse me.  
You might see me as a cruel murderer with a black heart, killing someone coldly without thinking about the consequences, but then you're wrong. I don't see myself as a murderer nor did I really kill him, for in fact I only quickened the process of his death, in some way he commited suicide. I know this may sound crazy, it may sound like some dumb excuse for why I did it.  
You might disagree but I would rather see myself as a life saviour than as a murderer, for I gave him a new life and will not let him go alone. Soon I'll be with him again and we'll be together in heaven, finally free to be together and love each other. I hope you guys will understand and I know that a letter won't make everything better, but I hope that when we meet again you will have forgiven me.  
Some say that the end is just a new beginning and I believe in that, even though you might hate me now, I'll never stop loving you and I will certainly miss you.  
Don't ever forget me.  
Your friend,  
Pan_

Reluctantly she lay down her pen and re-read her final letter, satisfied she also lay the letter down and stood up. Slowly she walked towards the kitchen and switched on the light. She opened the cupboard and grabbed a newly bought tiny bottle with blue liquid, with the bottle clenched in her hand she walked towards the livingroom again.

She stared at the bottle with poison for a while before opening it. "It's now or never." She whispered.

"Like I promised, I'll be with you again." Pan said out loud, wondering if Trunks could hear her. "This one's for you, Trunks. Cheers!" Pan said lifting the bottle a bit before drinking its contents.

The poison immediately began to work for it was not mixed with anything else. Pan dropped the bottle as her hands began to shake, she felt dizzy and fell down on the couch, the entire room began to spin. Faster and faster, it was like she was on a rollercoaster, only one that didn't stop. Colours began to change and nothing felt the same, slowly everything faded away, until her world was black, with one last sigh she left this earth to be reunited with the man she loved.

It was a couple of days later, a small group of people was standing at the graveyard, some of the woman cried as the priest held his speech. He stared at the group, wondering what strange event had happened that they had two funerals in one week and for such young people. He stared at the fresh grave next to the one of the man who was buried a couple of days were a married couple, but the priest wondered what kind of marriage that must have been, that it ended so sadly.  
Yet what our priest didn't know was that these lovebirds saved their marriage. Still wondering away in dreams, the priest stared at the new tombstone; his eyes kept reading what it said.

_Here lies Pan _ _Briefs-Son  
A true Life Saviour_

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Are there still any tissues left? No? Review and I'll send you some new ones! ;) Just kidding!


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